Stage Fright

I just read the poem I’m about to share…all I can do right now is shake my head and seriously laugh my ass off at the form I took when I wrote these things I called poetry. I mean I said I was going to share one. Right now I’m just looking for one good enough to post.

Yureekah!!!! It’s one of the funniest things I think I have ever read in my entire life. When I post it and it’s your turn to read this awful mess. I’m just not feeling it you guys. I was so young and hardly have any memory of being in high school. I’m never 100% sure where the coma goes all of the time, or if I have remembered ‘i’ before “e” except after ‘c’. I swear to god if I get bullied because of this from one of my friends, if they should see it and decide to read it, I’m gonna punch whoever brings it up first in the mouth. Seriously you guys it’s like that. Just know in the many, many years after this was written I have had nothing but time to buckle down on reading more and spreading my horizons if you will, on to more serious writing. Also, reading even better literature than I ever would have guessed existed. You’ll once again catch on to what I’m saying after you read this shit of a poem I wrote one night. Probably under the influence of some narcotic I’m sure. Again I’m being serious. Okay without further ado I now present you with…

Our Secrets Out

I have sat and waited hoping for you to come. My thoughts getting dreary, my heart going numb. Only you can ease my pain. Only you can keep me sane. I dream of you about every night. I push as hard as I can to move you to the back of my head. I’m still in love. Deeply so. Down. Willing. Ready to go. To have him hear of this he must never. Only because he thinks it’s him I love that way. Sadly not so. A great guy I’m dating now. How things took off. I never knew time could move so fast. He claims me as his woman and takes good care of me. To mess this up I wouldn’t dare. If you wanted me back though? I’d more than likely be down to go. I never exactly told him who I was with. Just enough for you to not ask no more. Don’t need you showing your ass. Drama always has to follow. That’s why on the first name I had to pass. Call me up bitching. Starting your shit. I didn’t get out but just a lil bit. I know I hurt his feeling. Of this I am sure. So yes the man is twice my age? No matter to me. I’m no longer trapped in a cage. Don’t want him around our kids you said. That about fucked me up and caused me to fall. One that dislikes has no room to disagree for he was just acting out in the same manner he’s saying he don’t like. Now no longer do I have to hide. I know this man will remain at my side. Finally finding out. Said why’d you lie? I didn’t I said. Now what? Huh? Bye! He hung up on me. Yes sure did. Mad about him being around our kids. I’d never put them in danger first of all know this. Know it good and well. I never called back, but worried I was. Don’t want him getting pissed. Trying to keep waters calm and still. That won’t happen if you have your way. Trying to remain passive. All the while the phone in my palm. That’s all that’s it for now. Keeping him away I don’t know how. Have to be honest and tell him he knows. All I can think is ” Man I hope this don’t come to throwing blows.” Nah, surely not. Sure enough you were just a thought. Tina Clark 27 yrs old 2008

Okay. I ‘m totally ready to get it after that. That was almost as bad as having your grandma pinch your dam cheeks way too hard at the family reunion. I’d probably pick the grandma squeezing my cheeks too hard than to sit through that one more time. I’m so glad I have a good sense of humor about this. The old Tina couldn’t handle constructive criticism at all. Now I’m down to know what I’m not doing right, if I’m doing wrong. Open to hearing new styles, forms, hell new words even. My vocab is utterly boring. I want to learn some spicy new words. Incorporate those into my vocab and eventually over into my writing.

Honestly that one alone was so bad I don’t think I’m going to post another one unless I’m writing it fresh. These “writings” if you will need to never see the light of day. No I’m totally being for real right now you guys. Like if you really only knew what I was talking about. I know I’m not alone in thinking that about myself. Like I’m sure many of you have felt the same or maybe similar to that, about your own written things. Surely I can’t be alone in feeling that way right. Because of course how dumb would I be then. LOL!!! Jk, jk calm down. No need to get in an uproar. Post no more!! Heard! Only from now on will I post my new writings. Ugh. Now I have a headache just from going through the few I did to get to that one above I chose to post. Open for comments. And hell if there was someone that read it and actually likes that poem, it wouldn’t hurt to get a like. Jus sayin…

By tallgirl07

I have always loved expressing myself through words. I have been a bookworm since I started reading I think. So expressing myself through writing has forever been super easy for me. Now if I could just teach everyone who didn't know how, how to read, then they'd be able to read all the fascinating literature out there. I'd go crazy if I couldn't curl up to a good book on a rainy day if I wanted to. I work with the public. So I was outside a couple days ago typing away on my 2nd hand chrome book, and a nice gentleman started conversation about how long it took to charge. I said not long for an older model. He said he knew, about the older model I was working with. I proceeded to tell him I was trying my hand at writing a book. He turned out to be an avid bookworm himself. He gave me nothing but encouragement to finish the book. I like to tell myself I can do anything. But we all know how some people should just stick to their profession, well I'm gonna keep trying. I won't stop until I know without a shadow of doubt I can't succeed. Then maybe I'll put my pencil down, or in my case now, close my chrome book for good. Something tells me I won't have to just yet though.

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