She was fixing her hair and I had jus brushed my teeth. We were goofing off all day that day. When I say that I’m so glad that God has given me another chance at redemption, I mean exactly that. He didn’t have too tho you know? I’m surprised He always allowed me another breath the day after I had eaten a lot of xannie’s. My next stop was heroin. Tjhat’s how bad my addiction to benzo’s really was. It’s still my fav drug of all time and I’m sure it always will be. I relapsed a huge time on bars since I have been out tho. No one is perfect and they teach that relapse is a part of recovery. That one is still an open topic to me. I however do believe it to be so. I have relapsed and went straight back into recovery. So, yes. I choose to think it is a part of recovery. Not everyone believes that to be true tho. I’ll never forget as long as I live how a counselor in prison SAP program could snatch someone’s recovery from them over toothpaste. YES! I jus said that. I was at PeWee Valley Ky. State prison for women all of 2018. Probation and parole wanted me to complete a SAP. Then I would get parole upon completion of SAP. I had the priviledge of having Mr. Young as my counselor. Well in the building they hold the programs in is called Ridgeview and during the spring and summer they get piss ants very bad. They get all in your canteen an you waste a lot of money cuz you end up having to throw your food away. So my roommate and I put toothpaste along the walls like caulk. Jus cuz I didn’t crawl my almost 6ft tall ass under the bunk to get the paste someone else put dwn he wrote me up for a 613, causing or creating a health hazaard. Anything in the 600’s period will get your program taken from you. So idk what kinda power trip this mf was on but let me tell you, I was a mad mf frfr. I never knew his first name but if any females on here that jus happen to read this post an you have been to that prison and their SAP program an happened to also get Mr. Young, I’d love to hear about you opinions and thoughts. Rehabs unfortunatley never worked for me. I retained a lot of the knowledge that your taught but it took plain ol fashioned jail time to see me through and get to where I am now at in my life. I couldn’t be more happy. I never knew what it was like to feel what normal was even like. Now I do. All thanks to jails and institutions, oh my.
I have always loved expressing myself through words. I have been a bookworm since I started reading I think. So expressing myself through writing has forever been super easy for me. Now if I could just teach everyone who didn't know how, how to read, then they'd be able to read all the fascinating literature out there. I'd go crazy if I couldn't curl up to a good book on a rainy day if I wanted to. I work with the public. So I was outside a couple days ago typing away on my 2nd hand chrome book, and a nice gentleman started conversation about how long it took to charge. I said not long for an older model. He said he knew, about the older model I was working with. I proceeded to tell him I was trying my hand at writing a book. He turned out to be an avid bookworm himself. He gave me nothing but encouragement to finish the book. I like to tell myself I can do anything. But we all know how some people should just stick to their profession, well I'm gonna keep trying. I won't stop until I know without a shadow of doubt I can't succeed. Then maybe I'll put my pencil down, or in my case now, close my chrome book for good. Something tells me I won't have to just yet though.View Archive →